Memoirs of a Single Dad's Dating Rules for the First Date
The rules of dating are really pretty difficult to nail down. Dating is really like the wild west - there are few rules and no one to enforce them. That's why it's up to each individual to set their own standards for themselves and stick to them. Below are our top three "rules" you should set for yourself and live by in your dating life.
I was single after my divorce for almost 8 years. I went on hundreds of first dates (it almost pains me to think about that). Some first dates were reasonably successful and led to second dates and still more were total failures that barely made it to the end of the night. With each subsequent first date I learned something new about myself and about dating. I learned the only aspect of dating that I had control over was myself (on a good day, that is). Therefore, I came up with a new set of dating rules.
This set of dating rules is a little different because they apply to YOU as a dater because you are the only person you have any control over. Rules should be seen more like dating standards or dating guidelines. If presented with a scenario, how should you behave given your morals, ethics and standards to which you hold yourself? How would you want to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot? If you want to maximize your first date potential, I highly recommend the below three first date rules.
You should probably get my book.
Memoirs of a Dating Dad is a book I wrote about my experiences in dating as a single dad.
Sometimes crazy, sometimes meaningful, always insightful - all of my experiences in dating as a single dad taught me some very valuable life lessons.
Memoirs of a Dating Dad is ten chapters of hilarity, sadness, anticipation and disappointment - all of the feelings and emotions that are inevitable when dating in today's jungle.
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First Date Rule #1 – Be Honest
Honesty in dating is this nebulous blob of conversational bs that everyone talks about but few really practice. Honesty is relative. Honesty is subjective. Honesty is not measurable and there’s no way to hold anyone accountable for his or her honesty in dating. Therefore, honesty is the responsibility of each individual in dating.
The type of honesty I’m talking about in a first date type of scenario is a little different than what most people think of when they think ‘honesty’. I’m not just talking about telling the truth to your date about your job, your past, your future, your credit rating or anything that may come up on first date chats. The type of honesty that I’m talking about is being authentically you. If you can walk away from your first date knowing you were authentically yourself then you know that you’ve given your date the most accurate view of yourself possible and their decision to see you for a second date would be 100% authentic as well.
First Date Rule #2 – Be Polite
Rule number 2 should be a no-brainer but the type of behavior I experienced on first dates regularly surprised me. From inviting friends on the date (can you say 5th wheel?) to interrupting the date with cell phone calls and texting while on the date, people amazed me all the time with their audacity and lack of respect – for me and for themselves.
Even if you decide you’re not interested in a second date while on your first date, understand that you still have a responsibility to yourself to conduct yourself with dignity and respect.
First Date Rule #3 – Be Punctual
A first date is the epitome of a first impression. Even if you met through an online dating site, you’re still meeting someone for the first time.
Senses are heightened and nerves are often on edge. Everything about that first date experience is a first impression. You’re setting the tone for each subsequent moment of your date with the moment before.
Even if you’re not generally a punctual person, it’s important to be on time for your first date. If you’re late, you’re basically telling your date that they’re not worthy of your time. Before you even meet them you’re saying, “I don’t want to see you again”. But hey, shit happens sometimes; stuff comes up. I get it. If you’re going to be late, at least have the courtesy to let them know.
What do you think? What first date rule did I leave off? Be sure to leave a comment below!