I think I speak for all dads out there when I say we men are not very complicated creatures, especially when it comes to making and keeping us happy. Aside from love, hugs and the occasional action movie, we only require a few morsels every once in a while to keep us going and to get us to do your bidding. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that we’re simpletons. ‘Cuz we’re not.
Dads are people, too.
But I have this theory that it only takes four types of behavior (from you) to get us to do pretty much anything you want. After extensive research, debate and focus groups (i.e.: asking my fellow dad friends), I believe I’ve successfully narrowed my list down of ways to “train” the dad / man in your life to love you forever (and do your bidding).
Turn Off Lights When You Leave a Room
The simple act of turning off the lights when you leave a room will easily take 10-15 years off my life. That’s because I spend at least that much time in a lifetime turning off lights behind you. If you can find a way to turn them off yourself, once I recover from my heart attack, you’ll be well on your way to having me right where you want me.
Flush Toilets When You’re Done
I promise to make mommy happy and to get better with my aim if you promise to flush the toilet when you’re done. And don’t forget the occasional courtesy flush, too.
Please Allow Dad to Poop in Peace
Bathroom time is “me” time. Some days, it’s all the time I get by myself. Yes, I realize I’m in there a while sometimes, but our house has more than one bathroom, doesn’t it? Even still, there are bushes out back. Show me you value my right to poop in peace and you’ll find that I will return the favor ten-fold.
Don’t Touch the Grill
A man’s house is his castle and his grill is sacred. We spend a lot of time with that thing – from grilling up steaks and chicken to making sure that we wire brush it back to new each time we use it. The grill rounds off our family to 3.0 children. Respect daddy’s tools and I will love you forever. And more than likely buy you that frozen yogurt the next time we’re at Costco, too.
What’s your theory? Do you have a little behavior you’d like to add to my list? What’s the surest way your wife / significant other / children could get you to do their bidding?