The Sensitive Man – Really What Women Want or Just an Ideal?

The Huffington Post online edition ran an article about the ten cities where ‘sensitive men’ may be found.  That begs the question, though…

First, let’s do a little data mining and journalistic investigation, shall we? It is worth noting the stats from the Huffington Post article. The article was posted at 10:50am on January 20, 2012.  As of 9pm, Saturday, January 28, 2012, the article has gained 649 Facebook shares, 32 tweets, 191 email forwards, and 99 likes.  Although this appears to indicate that considerable numbers of women favor men who are “sensitive,” the demographic makeup of the target market for the Huffington Post may indicate a different picture.

Scientific Proof Women Over 50 Want a Sensitive Man

According to the Alexa Traffic Rating Website, the Huffington Post’s target and primary market consists of college-educated females age 55-64 with no children who generally browse at work.  In other words, the majority of those chiming in on the sensitivity article are women who have likely pursued a career over family and agreed/liked/forwarded/tweeted the post before they left work for the weekend on Friday the 20th. Ok, maybe not exactly, but it is important (for us guys) to understand as we move on to consider whether women REALLY look for sensitivity or if it is something more like a wish list item or something they picked up from one of those YA novels (or cringe ‘Twilight’). I’m kidding, but seriously, do women really want sensitive men or is it all just fantasy?

So, What…Blame Hollywood?

Hollywood is often cited as a reflection of our society and I am going play into a bit of that world right now.  Hollywood romantic comedies are rife with stories about a so-called nice guy winning out against great odds to win that hottie he has been in love with since grade school.  Naturally, most guys just shrug this fluff off because that kind of thing doesn’t happen in real life and we know it. That’s why, if you see a guy at one of those movies, 99% of the time he’s with a woman and I’d argue 99% of the time he’s also a ‘sensitive guy’.  However, this Hollywood example serves to demonstrate just how many guys out there are faced daily with the statement, “you’re such a nice guy,” meaning, “I wouldn’t date you for all the Wal-Mart’s in the world.”

What’s a guy to do?

Keep Your Chin Up, Sensitive Guys of the World

So, although the number of women actually looking for a sensitive man is likely to be considerably small, according to the Huffington Post, there ARE such women out there.  The problem is that the most likely takers are approaching retirement and unless you are there or looking for a sugar-mama, the dates you seek tend to fall outside of those demographics.  So, how do we identify the women who sincerely are seeking nice, sensitive men?

Glad you asked.

Before getting into the list, it should be noted that the demographics tell the tale.  Overwhelmingly, the women visiting the Huffington Post online are college educated and, presumably, have placed career over family.  By noting these and other trends in the data, we were able to infer a few things about prospective dates if a sensitive guy seeking female is what you seek.

Here are 8 things to look for if you’re a sensitive man seeking a woman empathetic to your cause. These are 100% scientific, I promise. 

1. Ambitious: Ambition may mask hidden insecurities about family and relationships. Look beyond the mask and you may find a super-model.
2. Intelligent: This woman is likely very book-smart.  She knows everything there is to know about her chosen field and can teach much to the guy willing to listen.
3. Proud:  She will be very proud of her achievements in her career.  This acts as something of a salve to ease her thoughts about her personal life.
4. She eats Sushi:  I have no proof of this, but Sushi is expensive and I only ever hear women say, “Let’s get Sushi.”  Her success and ambition will drive her to eat Sushi. Check out Sushi Bars. She’s there, promise.
5. Glasses (or contacts): All those nights reading and cramming take their toll on the eyes.  Ambition has a price and it is 89.99 at Lens-R-Us.
6. Pretty (or conversely, a Troll):  She is either very pretty, but not super-model gorgeous, or she looks like an extra from Lord of the Rings.
7. Business Savvy: The same market reads the Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post. Expect this girl to have been either a business or political science major.  She is likely working in sales of some sort; could be a lawyer. Not likely in pharmaceutical sales.
8. She will turn down your first advance: These girls have built such a high wall around themselves that it is extremely unlikely that the first time you ask them out they accept.  More likely than not, she will have to ‘work’.  That is her standard defense mechanism. Just keep being nice.  Persistent and creative, perhaps, but nice…sensitive. (PS-here guys:  If you are really not a sensitive man, you are not going to be able to pull this off.  Forget her and go find some girl who’s had a few too many pink fruity drinks. That’s likely more your speed.)

Ok, so now you sensitive guys have something to look for. Go forth and conquer in the name of…well, just go have fun. The women you seek are not easy to attain, as can be seen by how many end up single and childless (at least according to HuffPost’s demographics), but they are out there. Maybe not all women want a sensitive guy, there’s no sense in being someone you’re not, either. Happy hunting.