Part IV in the Dating Game series is a fun one, let me tell ya! This is a story of a girl I met and went out on two dates with. We hit it off great – we had good chemistry, great conversation and we were attracted to each other (presumably). Then something happened after the second date…
“Bi the Way” – You’re Not Gay Enough For Me
Fear Factor: 6
What-the-hell-just-happened? Factor: 6
Good Riddance Factor: 4
Crazy Factor: 9
The Date Setup
It was February in Florida. The weather was perfect outside and my life was just humming along. I was eye ball deep in my dating experiences at this point. I had a profile on Match.com, Plentyoffish.com and OkCupid.com. I was averaging one or two dates a week and it was wearing on me. Then I met ‘Brittney’. Brittney actually found me on Plentyoffish.com. I hadn’t really had the best experience up until this point on PoF. The site seemed rather clunky, not very aesthetically pleasing and the people…oh, the people. They were a whole other breed, let me tell ya.
I was checking my Email on PoF one afternoon and saw that I had an Email from Brittney. I had seen her profile on the site before but didn’t send her an Email. I wasn’t sure why – on the surface she had a lot of what I was looking for in a woman. She was a single mom, good job, divorced a few years and her profile was pretty humorous. Humor went a long way in my book. She was cute, too. Cute never hurts. We chatted back and forth for a few days and decided to meet up.
The Date Plan
After a few days of the customary chit-chat, small talk and feeling each other out we agreed to make a plan for a first date. We both preferred something informal and low-key so we went with a quick meet and greet at Starbucks. Any girl that likes coffee gets bonus points in my book. We met for coffee one weekday after work. We sat and talked for at least two hours about anything and everything. The conversation flowed, it was natural and it felt good for a change. We had a great time, especially for a first date and said we’d definitely have to do a ‘real’ date next time. Next time…what an unusual concept for me.
Valentine’s Day was fast approaching and I was so glad when Brittney initiated a conversation about the dreaded holiday. We had only gone out on one date but even for a fledgling ‘relationship’ like ours, VD can make or break the whole thing. Brittney was very cool about it and said that she didn’t expect a thing for VD. In fact, she was busy VD because she had her kids with her that night so having a date night was going to have to wait anyway. We made plans for the day after Valentine’s Day to have dinner at a Carrabba’s that was convenient to both of us so that we could meet after work.
Date number 2 went famously just as I had expected. To random passers by, we looked like a couple that had been dating for a while. We ordered and shared our meals with each other even ‘feeding’ each other a bite. We shared a bottle of wine, which likely fueled the conversation and chemistry that I was seeing to some extent. The night went great and I fully expected a third date.
And that’s when she had a change of heart…
The Date Aftermath
After the second date we continued to talk almost daily. The conversations started to take a turn for the weird two days or so after the second date. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was but she was distancing herself from me. I felt a Fade coming on. I had seen it before. Something ‘comes up’ and one person has a change of heart and decides it’s time to end the relationship by disappearing. I didn’t freak out. I didn’t really even care at this point. I had gone through these motions so many times nothing surprised me at this point. That’s when Brittney informed me of her recent revelation. I remember it well.
Brit: “So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”
Me: “Oh yeah? About what?”
Brit: “Well, to be honest, about my ex.”
Me: “Your ex? Ok. I thought you were divorced for a few years?”
Brit: “Yeah, we have been but I think we’re going to give it another try. It was nice meeting you, though!”
Me: “Haha yeah ok, good luck.”
I admit I was a little miffed but I wasn’t surprised. Typical dating game BS. I wasn’t upset because nothing surprised me at this point. That is, until I logged back on to PoF a few days later and noticed that Brittney’s profile was still up but had been…umm…updated.
She updated her profile to make it known that she was a freaky girl and that any man she dated would have to be freaky too.
She required that they be bi-sexual.
Now, I’ve been ‘dumped’ my fair share of times but I can’t say that I’ve ever been ditched in lieu of a dude that likes to hump other dudes. Good for her for figuring that out and realizing that a bi-sexual man is something that is a requirement for her. I find her requirement to be a bit unusual but to each their own. I’m sure there is a specialty site out there to cater to her unique tastes. But why give me the bit about going back to the ex? Clearly that wasn’t the case.
She also can’t possibly be embarrassed because she put it on PoF for all the world to see. Was she trying to save my ego by telling me it was the ex and not that I don’t like to do it with other guys while she watches? The world may never know (but I’d sure like your thoughts!).
Lessons of the Day
- Each person has a unique set of needs that only they can define. If someone says you’re not the one for them, it’s normally not up for debate. Take your lumps and move on.
- There really is such a thing as a girl that likes to watch two guys go at it. I thought the same-sex thing was fairly unique to men as a fantasy of girl on girl action. Who knew?
- I can be flexible in dating to an extent but I have my limits. I will not take it from behind from another guy to appease a woman.